Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
