stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
