Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
