I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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