NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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