yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
