wanna go halves on a baby?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
