"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
