mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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