i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I use my feet as sexual weapons
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
