he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
