using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
