Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
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