just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
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