Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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