Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
