You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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