yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
