My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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