Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize