Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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