It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize