Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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