Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
