how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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