he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
he just fucked me for my cheese..
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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