i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
