So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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