I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
