Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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