I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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