Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
