We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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