Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
