My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
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