oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
