he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
