Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize
