we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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