I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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