We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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