I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
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