Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I'm passing your future prison.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
