Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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