Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
