"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
