Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
