my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
