I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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