I feel like I'm in dance class right now
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
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