his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
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