We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Randomize
