I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
