Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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