that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
