I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
