2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
