so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
