Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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