oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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